Sex Questions: Part II

Here are the answers that I have for the remaining questions. You can see all the questions asked Week One of the Sex Series and Part I of my answers here. I'm sure the next three weeks of the series will produce further questions, so check back regularly as I answer them here on the blog.

* Is it a sin if your other half swings and you're ok with it but you don't?
My answer to this question is a resounding yes, you are in sin, both of you. You have to remember that sex outside of the marriage covenant of one man and one woman is outside of God's boundaries that He has designated. You are allowing your spouse to commit adultery, even if it is permitted adultery. That's like being the parent of a teenager who smokes marijuana and you want to know if they are breaking the law, even though you are okay with them doing it. The answer is still yes. The law is being broken. Here is where my biggest concern is: what kind of condition is your relationship in with your spouse that you are okay with them having sex with people other than you? That is not a healthy relationship; in fact, it is one that is probably on the verge of divorce. You are either extremely insecure and are afraid to speak out against your spouse or you are extremely naive to how damaging these actions are to your marriage. Either way, you need to ask your spouse to stop immediately, and you two need to seek marriage counseling.

* What if your only partner is your husband, but you had sex before marriage? Is that still going to condemn me to hell in God’s eyes? We were engaged and had made a covenant to each other.

Yes, sex before marriage will condemn you in God's eyes. Can you be forgiven in God's eyes, yes, when the sin confessed,repented, and surrendered to God. This means that people who do this habitually can't just say, "Lord forgive me" everyday as they engage in sex outside of marriage. Repentance means turning away from the sin and to God. Now, about the covenant you made to each other. That sounds all sweet and cuddly, but here's the deal: you did not make a covenant to each other. If you were really committed to each other you would have had gotten married earlier or waited before having sex. People who choose not to get married and opt for shacking up instead have basically said, without words, "I'm with you until something better comes or I'm tired of you." A true, biblical covenant between a man and a woman will not be some pinky-promise in which we make ourselves feel better for accommodating our sinful desires.

* What is marriage? Is it the vow we take or the actions in sex? If it is sex, then were we considered married before in God’s eyes if we had sex before marriage?

This is a great question. In the biblical days, there were formal weddings and ceremonies. We see this when Jesus goes to the wedding banquet and turns water into wine. The "icing on the cake" if you will, was the act of sex to consummate the marriage; when they got home, not at the banquet :-). In a our current culture and society, rarely do man and woman wait until making their vows of commitment and legally marrying before having sex. Does it make them married in God's eyes if they have, no. Does it make them fornicators (people who had sex before marriage), yes. Marriage is marriage. The state doesn't see you as married unless you do it legally, and we are to follow the laws of the land according the Scripture, so marriage is marriage and sex is sex. The order should be 1. a legal and binding marriage, recognized by the state and God. 2. sex between the husband and wife after the legal and spiritual commitment has been made.

* So no sex before marriage, is marriage the commitment to each other or the legal recognition of that commitment?

Same answer as the question above.

Sex Questions: Part 1

Here is the start of answering some of the questions that were texted in during service on Sunday. The following answers are in no way reflective of the Journey Church, my friends, or family...though they probably should be. LOL

* What does God say to teen girls about chastity & purity?

God says the same thing to teenage girls that he says to everyone else about chastity and purity: in order to engage in sexual activity it is expected that we are in the covenant of marriage between one man and one woman. All sex outside of this context is sin. Unless we are in the boundaries that God designed for our sexual behavior, we are all to remain sexually pure. Marriage is described as a covenant in Malachi 2 and Proverbs 2. It is outlined in Genesis 2:18-24 as being between one man and one woman, and confirm by Jesus as this in Matthew 19:4-6.

* Is it a sin to have sex before you are married?

This is a softball and thank you to whoever asked this. YES. Watch the sermon online here or read the answers to the other questions.

* Is my foot fetish a bad thing? I am single. I don’t have to have pretty feet to get off but I have a hard time to go out with women with ugly feet?

My initial response would be to say "no" your foot fetish is not a bad thing. I would say that being single, and saying that you don't have to have pretty feet to "get off," you are probably sinning in that way. In other words, you shouldn't be "getting off" until you are married. When it comes to having a hard time dating someone who has ugly feet, I'm not sure what to tell you. I think you have to start by being more concerned with who you are dating and who they are as a person, instead of wondering what their feet look like. I would say not to look at their feet until you know their heart and know their personality. You could lose the person of your dreams because their toes are longer than you would like. That seems to be a high cost for some feet.

* Is sexual sin different than other sin such as a prideful nature or gluttony?

No. Sexual sins are no different than any other sins (prideful nature or gluttony). All sins condemn us before God and sentence us to an eternity in hell. Our only hope to put our faith in what Jesus Christ has done for us, confess, repent, and surrender to him. I will add; however, that sexual sins have major physical, emotional, and spiritual effects that sometimes other sins may not bring with it.

Sex Questions Texted in during Service

There were some really good questions asked on Sunday during the message through our text-a-question element. Many of the questions were questions that will be answered in upcoming sermons. Others were questions that were able to be answered during service. The ones that didn't make the cut, I will answer on the blog over the next couple of days. Take a look at the questions.

Questions that will be answered in upcoming weeks:

* Do you feel like gay people have the right to worship God?

* How can you punish someone for being born gay? DNA change in them is a fact proven. It to me is being wronged for being born with blue eyes.

* Is living together before you’re married a sin?

* If a husband or wife wants to have sex and the other spouse is “not in the mood”, who has to make the sacrifice & why?

Questions I answered Sunday:

* Is there sex in heaven?

* Where do you look in the Bible for guidance for the talk & how do you take out prejudice if you were molested as a child?

* Why was it not a sin to have more than 1 wife in the old testament? Because the man would lust for the second wife before he married here therefore he would have sinned against the first wife.

* Sex is created for husband & wife only. All other is sin. God does not recognize divorce. That is created by man. So if remarried, are you not committing sin?

* My boss is divorced & has a boyfriend that she has sex with. She is supposed to be a Christian. Should I talk to her about this?

* When you are rapped, are you responsible for the sexual sin?

Questions I will answer on the blog over the next few days:

* What does God say to teen girls about chastity & purity?

* Is it a sin to have sex before you are married?

* Is my foot fetish a bad thing? I am single. I don’t have to have pretty feet to get off but I have a hard time to go out with women with ugly feet?

* Is sexual sin different than other sin such as a prideful nature or gluttony?

* Is it a sin if your other half swings and you’re ok with it but you don’t?

* What if your only partner is your husband, but you had sex before marriage? Is that still going to condemn me to hell in God’s eyes? We were engaged and had made a covenant to each other.

* What is marriage? Is it the vow we take or the actions in sex? If it is sex, then were we considered married before in God’s eyes if we had sex before marriage?

* So no sex before marriage, is marriage the commitment to each other or the legal recognition of that commitment?

Book Giveaways

We did something Sunday that we haven't done before at The Journey. We did a book giveaway to someone in the crowd around the topic that we are talking about. The following books will be given out during the series. If you don't get one, you can still have the information to go get them.

How and When to Tell Your Kids about Sex by Stan and Brenna Jones (gave this away Week 1)

A Celebration of Sex by Douglas E. Rosenau

Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God by C.J. Mahaney

Intimate Issues by Linda Dillow an Lorraie Pintus

Going All the Way by Craig Groschel

Sunday Evening Reflections

This has been one incredible day! I think this is by far one of my favorite ministry days in all my time in ministry. Our services this morning were awesome in my opinion. Our Lebanon Campus broke an attendance record and our two campuses combined today broke all Journey attendance records, including Easter. There are some amazing things happening right now in our church and you can just tell that God is about to blow our minds with some things. 

I felt really good about the message today. I have to be honest with you, I rarely get nervous before speaking, but I was jittery before getting up this morning. I barely slept any Saturday night because of the anticipation. I pray that God will use the message to stir conversations, convict hearts, and call people to repentance. We have to get use to talking about sex if we are going to live in a culture that is in constant conversation about it. I look forward to the weeks ahead as we keep engaging in this important conversation. Be sure to send people to the website if they want to see the sermon or go download it from itunes.

We also had our first Hartsville Campus info meeting. We had a great time talking about what we believe God is going to do in that area. You will hear more info as we keep moving forward, but we are targeting Easter 2010 as our official launch date. We will begin preview services sometime early 2010. John Griffin has officially been named as Campus Pastor for the Hartsville Campus. We are excited about John moving into this role. Please congratulate him the next time that you see him. More details on Hartsville coming soon!

Finally, we announced today the start of our new 6pm service time beginning September 20th. This service will be at the Lebanon Campus and will be a mirror image of our Sunday morning service. The goal is to create another opportunity for people to worship with us, and particularly, reach Cumberland University. In addition to Cumberland students we seek to reach people who may attend Titans games, sleep-in on Sunday morning, and other unchurched folks. We are pumped about this service. Let people around you know about it. 

God is doing a major work right now. Don't take this for granted Journey Church. Savor these moments. Be in prayer for our leadership. Please pray for me as I try to continue hearing from God and serve Him faithfully. We are moving closer every week to living our desire of being: One Church, in Multiple Locations, Igniting a Jesus movement. 

Confessions of a Sinful Pastor

I'm a very optimistic person. I will rarely take the side of pessimism when comes to anything. I simply refuse to be the person who has something to complain about around every corner. I try to take this optimism into every environment I'm in. Recently, I've noticed that there is an area in my life where I am pessimistic. What is that area? Other churches. That's right, I said it, I'm pessimistic about other churches. 

The reason I say this is because I tend to have doubts about other churches and church plants/planters motivations. I know many people have genuine hearts to plant churches so that they can reach people, but I also know that church planting has become the hip and trendy thing to do. I have found myself getting pessimistic. The thing that is worse, I've been unconsciously jealous or envious of other churches success. I have had the mindset of "if they are successful, we may not be." It is a ridiculous way of thinking, but one that God revealed to me that is in me. 

Here is what God began to show me. God revealed to me that if I'm not careful, I will be concerned with my success over and above the success of other churches. Which at the end of the day means that I desire for myself to be known more than I desire God to be known. God gently reminded me of the passage in John 3:30 where John the Baptist says of Jesus baptizing more people than him, "He must become greater, I must become less." I think that is what needs to happen in me. He must become greater, which means more churches having more success. I must become less, which means that I remember that its not about me or "my" success. Recently, I have started a habit of praying for all the local pastors and that God would bless their family and church, and make them successful. I pray that you would join me in that endeavor. 

I hope my honesty doesn't repel you, but it is simply a confession from a man who needs forgiveness for my selfishness.  

Sunday Evening Reflections

Today was a milestone day at The Journey. It is so exciting to be a part of what God is doing in the church. Every week we see new faces, more commitments of faith, and more lives transformed to follow Christ. I love being able to look back at where we have come from and just sit back and be in awe of God. We are in some exciting times right now in the life of the church.

The more I reflect on all that is happening the more I realize that we have an amazing opportunity to reach our communities. With that opportunity comes major responsibility. God is giving us an influence and a voice and we must bring glory to Him with that voice. My prayer is that we would stay hungry for His Presence. That we would stay hungry to see lost people become found people. That we would stay hungry to see lives transformed. If we stay hungry Journey Church, there is no ceiling as to the influence and impact we can have in our region.

I'm grateful to be the pastor and one of the leaders at such a great church. I love the people. I love the mission. I love our commitment to the things of God. May He continue to be lifted up by us and in us. May we live each day with an eye for those who need Him and take big risks to love those who most cast aside. May we stand amazed each time we gather because He is moving powerfully in our midst.

We have a BIG ANNOUNCEMENT this Sunday so don't miss. Also, the new Sex Series starts this Sunday and it is going to be one the best series we have ever done. Get there early each week and bring friends! Final Stats today: Biggest crowd in the history of the church, Easter included, and 13 baptisms!

Friday Fun

I thought we would have a little Friday fun. Take a shot at creating the caption for this photo or if you like, create the next sentence out of this guy's mouth.



My caption: Huhhhhh, I promise at was at home last night!

The Cost of Discipleship

You may or may not be familiar with the book The Cost of Discipleship by Dietrich Bonhoeffer, but it is a classic on the life of one who desires to "carry their cross." I spoke on discipleship on Sunday at church, but the lesson I'm learning about it is still ongoing. I'm being challenged by God in a big way. Discipleship is that process of transformation in which we reflect the image and likeness of our Lord through our lives. As I have thought about this, there are many things in our lives that could destroy that process of transformation. 

I was reading a tweet from Rick Warren the other day and it said this: "What we laugh at reveals a culture's heart. When impurity and mediocrity are considered hilarity we have a problem." When I read that it stung me. I kept reading it and reading it. The thought that came across my heart and mind was, "there are things that I laugh at that really show that my heart needs changing." I watch movies and T.V. shows that have crude humor. As I thought about it, the things that I laugh at make me no different than a culture I'm trying to reflect Christ to. I'm not one of those people who in anti-everything because I am Christian. But I'm realizing that if I'm not careful I will be swayed and lulled into a comfortable drift along with the rest of the culture. Think about this for a moment: how far off-base have comedy movies over the last two decades drifted? Think about the difference between "Caddy Shack" and "The Hangover." I do not recommend "The Hangover" to anyone simply because of how crude it is. 

As I find myself seeking to become more like Christ, I have to evaluate what things that I engage with and consume from our society. Do I really need to watch that show? Is this movie that important to go watch? Is this music truly honoring God? I know some of you may say, "oh, come on, it is not going to hurt anything to watch this or listen to that." But my question back to you would be: "is there not a cost to discipleship?"

Only Having Days to Live

The last couple of months have been a very sobering and reflective time for me. In the course of that time I have done the funeral for a 17 year old kid killed in a car accident, hear of a 16 year old that died of a brain aneurysm as he was working out, and was at a funeral for a friend's grandmother who was in her 60's that died of cancer. In addition to these examples I have been sent prayer requests and been informed of many other ones. It has resulted in this one over-arching question that it forces me to ask: Am I living my life like I have forever or am I living my life like today is my last?

I think this is an important question to ask. If you knew tomorrow was the last day you would have on earth, how would you spend it? What things would make you mad? What things would you look past because they don't matter? Would you keep partying your life away if you knew you were going to come face-to-face with the Living God in a matter of days? How would it effect the way you communicate to your loved ones? How would it change what you do for a living? How would it change your view of money? I think having a healthy sense of our mortality is the only way to truly live as we should. When situations are put in the light of no promise for tomorrow, it helps determine whether or not they are truly important.

So why do I write this? I want you to take inventory of your own life. Have you told the people you love that you love them today? Have you demonstrated your love through your actions? Is your life filled with meaningless things instead of things with meaning? Take inventory and see what you find. Begin to live like you are not promised tomorrow, because you know what? Your not. 

Sunday Evening Reflections

It was another incredible day today at The Journey. I never stop being amazed at what God does in our services each week. Today was one of those days that God really moved the hearts of people. I prayed with many people today at the end of service and following service. I continue to be amazed at the stories of lives that are being changed in this community of faith. God is sending more and more people for us to share the gospel of Jesus with. I pray we continue to faithful in our mission to do just that. 

Today there were several things that left impressions on me:

* I'm thankful that God has continued to grow us as a church throughout the summer months. There are so many new faces that I find myself always introducing myself to others. 

* I loved how our Praise and Worship team had three different people lead worship songs during our time of worship. That is a great job by Robbie Cheuvront in being willing to let others lead. It is also why he is hands-down the best worship leader in the area. Great job by Molly McNeil, Philip Organ, and Miranda Allen in stepping up and leading those songs. 

* I particularly loved "Reign in Us" sang by Philip today. I loved the words he had to say before he sang about his experience coming to The Journey and about how that song should become an anthem for us. Good stuff.

* I thought our tweak in the flow of service worked well today. I liked having the offering and communion as a simultaneous moment. It reminds us that our offering is an act of worship, submission, and obedience to Christ, in whom we feast upon as we take the elements. 

* I'm pumped up about the baptisms for next week. We have double-digit baptisms scheduled and their could possibly be more! You will not want to miss next Sunday.

* Don't forget to hand out the Sex Series cards that we gave out today. We are anticipating a huge turnout in people for this series. If you aren't too shy or embarrassed to invite others, this one will be the one to do it on. 

* I felt my sermon today was speaking to a lot of people in the room. I pray God will bring forth fruit from it. I also love how our church is willing to have fun and laugh as we seek to learn the ways of God together. Good job to my two students this morning who took "my test." 

I'm honored to serve alongside of you all and be a part of what God is doing here at the church. Lets commit to continued faithfulness so that we will keep seeing God pour Himself out in our midst. 

Why I Love Twitter

I know there are many skeptics of the newest and latest networking tools that come out. Facebook is the fourth largest site on the internet right now behind only Microsoft, Google, and Yahoo. Social networking tools such as Facebook and Twitter have changed how communication happens...and I happen to like it. 

The beauty of these two tools, especially twitter, is that you can communicate about what things are going on in your life without having to have 377 conversations with people (the number of people I would have to call or meet with that are my Facebook friends). It is also a more concise way to talk and share information. For example: when I get emails that are just short of being full-length novels, I rarely finish reading them. When I get phone calls from numbers that I don't know, I rarely answer them. In today's world, people don't want to be bogged down. Short and fast communication solves this issue. With twitter you only have a 140 characters to communicate what you need to say. That is the equivalent of two full sentences. Could you imagine if all the fluff of some of your emails and conversations were cut out and just the meat were there? This is why I love it.

Think about this for a moment. Which would you more likely to respond to: the long email, the unknown phone call, or the text message, twitter direct message (140 characters), or a Facebook message. My guess is that you are probably finding yourself responding to things that allow for quick and concise communication. After-all, thats what we have time for. I don't think these things should replace face-to-face contact and conversations, but I love these tools because they allow for me to do my job at a level that I could never accomplish without them. In fact, if you are reading this blog it is probably because you clicked on a link from Facebook or twitter...see. 

Follow me @ twitter.com/erikreed or facebook.com/erikreed

Divine Appointments

As some of you may know I'm coaching my son's tball team this fall. I started calling our players yesterday to let them know I was the coach and to inform them of our practice schedule. One of the main reasons I coach is because it allows me to do this with my son, but also I get a chance to meet families that I would normally never have a chance to know. My prayer is that God would always use these opportunities to allow for people who don't know Him to perhaps find him. I just want to be used to reflect God's love to people who may otherwise not know of it.

Yesterday as I am calling people I get a hold of a lady who's son is on my team. As we are talking about the practice schedule she informs me that she is not sure if they will be able to be there or not. She says that their 9 year old daughter has brain cancer and they are finding results out that day about whether or not the chemotherapy has been working. She starts to cry as she is telling me this. I immediately begin to share with her some of our history with Kaleb's medical problems and then I pray for her, the family, and her daughter. When we finally hung the phone up I just sat there in my chair perplexed. I realized that God happened to ordain this time and the opportunity for this family to be on our team. I'm amazed at how God works. My prayer is for this little girl Bishop to receive healing. I also pray that the family would come to know that God is there with them at all times, if they don't know this already. My prayer is that God would use this tball season as a divine appointment in both their lives and mine. Please pray for this family and sweet little girl. The results yesterday was that her tumor had grown by 20%. 

What Divine Appointments have you had in your life? Is it possible that today is a day full of possibilities for divine appointments if we simply open our eyes and hearts?

Sunday Evening Reflections

Today was the official "last day of summer." School starts back this week. Vacations are over and the normal life routine begins to start back. I had my last scheduled teaching break of the year and I'm ready to get back at it. We have two weeks left of the You Are My Joy series and then we begin the SEX series. It is going to be a great ministry season this fall and we are going to reach so many people. 

This weekend was great. Todd did such a great job today and I'm grateful for him and Shawn filling in for the last 2 out of 3 weeks. The band was awesome as usual this weekend, including the amazing Praise and Worship Night we had on Friday. I have some pictures attached that Nate Uhl took at the event. We also had a great skit today performed by Sarah and Hannah Gallagher. They always do such a great job of communicating without having to say a word. 

I'm excited about all the days ahead of us will bring. We have baptisms coming up in two weeks and it will be awesome. Keep praying big prayers Journey Church and continue to be faithful in all that God asks us to do to forward His mission.