5 Ideas for Using Accountability

The idea of accountability has always been prominent with Christians. Many have been for it and some against it. Those against it claim that accountability is pointless because people can still, and will, lie about their actions. While this can be true, it does not mean that accountability is unsuccessful in helping people walk according to the Scriptures. Those for accountability argue that is both biblical and necessary for healthy Christian growth. 

Accountability is all about growing with others. Discipleship is best lived out with others. It is in close community that we take the largest strides of growth in our faith. When accountability is working properly, it deters sin, keeps us disciplined, promotes humility, and concerns us about the growth of other believers. Having accountability through one-on-one, two-to-three, or small group relationships are more valuable to your growth in grace than you can comprehend. So here are ways you can use accountability to become a well-rounded Christian. 

5 Ideas for Using Accountability

 1. Quite time accountability. Accountability partners can help you be faithful to spend time with God. It is vital that we spend daily time in the Word and prayer. This is not for the super-spiritual alone, it should be the goal of every Christian. We need the wisdom of God's Word to guide us. We need the daily dose of humility that prayer provides. The act of prayer is an act of recognizing your own insufficiency. Prayer humbles us before God to recognize our need for Him and His ability above all others to provide for us. I have written about how I spend time with God if you would like more instruction on this area.

Accountability Ideas:

** Find 1 or 2 people who serve as accountability for this area of your life.
** Check on each other daily using tools like a phone call, a text, twitter, Facebook, or email.
** Share with each other what time of the day you are setting as your quite time with God, and commit to texting (or any another method) each other prior to those committed times to encourage them to follow through with their appointment with God.


2. Battling Sin. There may not be a greater need for accountability than in the area of battling sin. The ancients would call this practice the mortification of sin. If we do not commit to killing sin, sin will be killing us. James 5:16 exhorts us to "Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another..." This is not a suggestion, but a command from God's Word. Why do we need this kind of accountability? Because sin that remains in the dark gains power, dominion, and strength. Sin grows stronger and more dominant in our lives when it is covered up and hidden. However, when sin is exposed, and we talk about our struggles by letting others in to our battles, sin loses both its power and appeal. 

This is why we desperately need others to help us battle sin. Practically speaking, accountability in this area gives others a chance to speak truth into our lives, pray for us, and encourage us as we fight the good fight. Instead of wallowing in our sinful failures, challenge each other to confess and repent of sin, turn to Scripture to find tools to combat particular sins, and pray for each other. 

Accountability Ideas: 

** Have a person (you can have more than one, but not too many) you can meet weekly to share your sin struggles with.
** Meet for coffee or lunch with your accountability partner. Another option is a phone call on the way to work or during a lunch break during the week. You could even do a Skype or FaceTime conversation during a time you are both available. 
** In instances where a persistent sin continues to remain in a person's life, commit to reading a book together on the subject, memorize Scripture on the issue, or go together to meet with a pastor/elder for further counsel. 


3. Faithfulness to our home responsibilities. If you are married, then you have home responsibilities. Every man and woman has God-given roles they are called to fulfill. These home responsibilities include being a parent. So if you are a man who is married and has any children, you have many responsibilities. You are called to lead your family. This includes leading your wife spiritually. You must ensure she is growing in her relationship with Christ. You must also lead your children. This involves one-on-one discipleship with your kids, as well as family worship. I know so many families who want to have family worship, but do not. These responsibilities are where good accountability partners can come in handy. 

Accountability Ideas:

** Have an accountability partner check with you weekly to ask if you are leading family worship. Set a day that you plan to lead family worship and have your accountability parter check to ensure you have prepared for it.

** Ask your accountability partner to check regularly if you are: 1. praying with your spouse, 2. praying for your spouse, and 3. talking to them about what they are currently learning in their walk with God, and 4. what they are currently struggling with. 
4. Faithfulness to our church responsibilities. If you are a believer, you should be committed to a local church. There is no such concept as a churchless Christian in the New Testament. Christians are saved from our sins and saved into a community. Inside this community every person has a role. We are all given spiritual gifts by the Holy Spirit for the purpose of building up and edifying the church. As a committed church member you should be giving financially, in some type of group outside of Sunday mornings, serving with your gifts, and attending Sunday worship gatherings weekly.

Accountability Ideas: 

** Have your accountability partner ask you about: church attendance, serving, being in a group, participation in the life of the church, giving, etc. 

** Join with your accountability partner for regular prayer for the church, its leaders, its members, and its mission.

5. Gauging our Affections. This may be one of the most neglected areas of for Christian accountability. It is no problem to have someone ask us about what we are doing. But this area of accountability, gauging our affections, gets to the heart of how we are feeling. Are we growing in our love for Jesus? Are we finding our prayer times fervent and alive? When we sing praises do our hearts leap? When we read the Scriptures are we hungry for more? The affections can go through seasons of great fire and intensity, then go through seasons of cold and staleness. This is an area of our walks with God that would be well served to have accountability.

Accountability Ideas:

** Invite your accountability partner to ask regularly the following questions: how is your life for Jesus? What is your eagerness to read the Word and pray? How do you feel as you are reading the Word and praying? Do you anticipate gathering to worship with the church? Do you enjoy your time with God? If you were to evaluate your hearts affections right now, would you rank them as: hot, cold, or lukewarm?

Concluding Thoughts & Challenge

If you are attempting to live the Christian life in isolation from others, you are doomed to fail. If you believe you can get by without accountability, you are attempting a futile feat. You need others. You were made to walk with others. Accountability is a gift from God. Without it we are prone to wander and stray from God. With it we can fulfill our God-given callings and responsibilities. 

Question: Who are the first people that came to your mind as potential accountability partners while you read this post? My challenge to you is to send this article to them, ask them to read it, and then invite them to join you in an accountability relationship. 

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Sunday Evening Reflections

As today winds down, I find myself filled with gratitude for the grace of God. Today with TJC was a great day. We finished Ephesians 2:10 this morning. I believe it is one of the most important sermons I have ever, or will ever, give. The whole issue surrounds the question: how are we to live? In light of the grace of God through Christ, how then shall we live in this world? We emphasized the idea that we only have one life, don't waste it. We don't want to waste our lives on vain pursuits. We don't want to live pursuing the American Dream, we are called to pursue the Kingdom of God. The message should be posted tomorrow on the Media page of our website. 

Two elements of our service today that stood out to me were our prayer time at the end of service and our corporate singing of "I Surrender All" as a church to conclude the message. I plan for us to do this a bit more frequently than we have in the past. I would like for us to take more time in our services to pray specifically for those who have needs. Today was a good start to that practice.

Next Sunday we begin a 5 week series called Counter Culture: Living for Christ in a World that Hates Him. We are going to explore how believers should approach living in a culture that is hostile toward Christ and Christians. We are going to look at many of today's hot-button topics and see what the Bible teaches us. Don't miss this series as we explore this vitally relevant discussion on living as Christians in this culture. Invite a friend.

Lastly, this week I will be writing several blog posts that I believe will be helpful to you and your faith. I'm going to write on accountability in our lives, the reality that there is much more to walking with God than many experience in their lives, defining and understanding biblical manhood and womanhood, and more. I'm going to be covering a variety of topics, but each of them are intended to help you grow in your faith and help point you in the ways of God. I hope you stop by and read.  

I pray this for you as you prepare to start a new week: The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. (Numbers 6:24-26 ESV).

The Unwasted Life [Sunday Preview]

I am really excited about this Sunday at TJC. We will be studying Ephesians 2:10 and closing out Paul's stream of thought found in verses 1-10. We have studied the reality of our sin nature and spiritual state before Christ (1-3). We then looked at the gospel of grace and how God saved us by making us alive with Christ (4-5). Then we saw that God raised us up and seated us with Christ in the heavenly realm; He pulled us out of the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of His Son, and gave us access to His presence (6-7). This was all a work of grace, not of works, a gift of God, not our own doing, so that nobody could boast (8-9). That leads us to the concluding verse (10).

I truly believe this sermon is one of the most important sermons I will ever give. 

That is a big statement. Why do I make it?

This text and the implications from it get down to the core of why we exist. As Christians, God has saved us. We are His workmanship, formed for good works. This is why we have been saved. God has formed us for a greater purpose than simply chasing the American dream. We were made for more, much more. This Sunday we are going to compare and detail the wasted life vs the unwasted life. 

Join us this Sunday at TJC, invite some people with you, and come worship and study God's Word on this vital topic.

The sermon title for the sermon is: The Unwasted Life. 

Need of Jesus -- Valley of Vision

Need of Jesus

Lord Jesus, 

I am blind, be thou my light, 
ignorant, be thou my wisdom, 
self-willed, be thou my mind. 

Open my ear to grasp quickly thy Spirit's voice, 
and delightfully run after his beckoning hand; 
Melt my conscience that no hardness remain, 
make it alive to evil's slightest touch;
When Satan approaches may I flee to thy wounds, 
and there cease to tremble at all alarms.

Be my good shepherd to lead me into the green pastures of thy Word, 
and cause me to lie down beside the rivers of its comforts.

Fill me with peace, 
that no disquieting worldly gales may ruffle the calm surface of my soul. 

Thy cross was upraised to be my refuge,
Thy blood steamed forth to wash me clean, 
Thy death occurred to give me a surety, 
Thy name is my property to save me, 
By the all heaven is poured into my heart, 
but it is too narrow to comprehend thy love. 

I was a stranger, an outcast, a slave, a rebel, 
but thy cross has brought me near, 
has softened my heart, 
has made me thy Father's child,
has admitted me to thy family, 
has made me joint-heir with thyself.

O that I may love thee as thou lovest me, 
that I may walk worthy of thee, my Lord,
that I may reflect the image of heaven's first-born.

May I always see thy beauty with the clear eye of faith, 
and feel the power of thy Spirit in my heart,
for unless he move mightily in me,
no inward fire will be kindled. 


The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers & Devotions. Edited by Arthur Bennett, Copyright 1975. The Banner of Truth Trust. Carlisle, PA. (page 186-187)

Struggling to Forgive

If you are like me, you have struggled at times to forgive people. People can say and do a number of things that hurt us. We all like to act tough and pretend as though things don't phase us. This is an act. We are tender people when it comes down to it. 

Things people may do that causes hurts includes: talking about you behind your back, saying something offensive, failing to live up to a commitment or expectation, lying to you, ignoring you, acting rude to you, doing something that brings physical harm to you or a loved one, and on the list goes. There is no end to the things that can hurt us. 

Are we to live constantly frustrated and angered at those who hurt us? Only if we want to live miserable lives. Failing to forgive those who hurt us does not get back at the one who caused the pain, it perpetuates our hurts. Being unable to forgive others only drowns us in a sea of despair and bitterness which leads us to feel worse about ourselves and our lives.

What is forgiveness?

It is important to understand the meaning of forgiveness. Forgiveness is not saying that what someone did is okay. Forgiveness is not pretending that something did not hurt you. Forgiveness is not acting like something did not happen. No, forgiveness understands that someones actions were wrong, hurtful, and did happen, but refuses to be held captive by those actions. 

Forgiveness is about cutting oneself loose from the hurtful actions of others. Forgiveness is about releasing the anger, bitterness, resent, and desire to hurt back. Forgiveness recognizes that no one is perfect, including ourselves, and chooses to pardon people for their wrongdoing. This naturally leads to an important question.

Why should we forgive?

Why should we let people off the hook who have hurt us? This is a question we wrestle with in dealing with forgiveness. We want people to feel the pain we feel. When someone hurts us, we want them to hurt too. This attitude is toxic. This type of attitude does massive damage to us emotionally. When we live to strike back at those who have hurt us, we quit living. 

Those unwilling to forgive others live miserable lives. The reason for this is they are chained to the hurtful actions of others. Instead of living life and moving on, they remain trapped in a state of resentment and vindictiveness. This is emotionally draining and physically exhausting. Choosing not to forgive others is a guaranteed way of being unhappy. 

In addition to the things stated, forgiveness is something God demands we give to others. Christ told us in Matthew 6 that we must forgive others of their trespasses or our own trespasses will not be forgiven. That is a massive reason for forgiving others. If we desire God to forgive our sins, we must learn to pardon the sins of those who hurt us. This is a major part of our discipleship and sanctification process as followers of Jesus.

How do we forgive? 

So what do we do? How can we go about forgiving others that have hurt us? I believe the first important step is realizing how much you have forgiven through Christ. If you are a Christian, all of your sin has been forgiven by God through Jesus. You did not earn your forgiveness, it was given. In light of that, we too should forgiven others. We should not force people to earn forgiveness. We should give it in the same way it was given to us. 

A second thing to remember is that other people have forgiven you when you have made mistakes. Just imagine if everyone you have hurt or offended continued to hold it against you. We would all have a lot of enemies if that happened. We should forgive others just as many have forgiven us. 

Lastly, forgiving others begins vertically as we take our hurts to God. We pray for God to heal our broken hearts. We ask God to give us strength to forgive. We ask for God to be the vindicator where we have been wronged. Once we have taken our issues vertical to God (which could be a long process), we are then able to extend forgiveness horizontally to others (even if we never see them again). 

Closing Thoughts

Forgiveness is something we want others to extend to us, but we often struggle to extend it to others. We act hypocritically when we expect people to readily forgive us and give us the benefit of the doubt, but when we are wronged we want to press full charges. We should be graceful people. Of all people, Christians should be the most eager and quick to forgive. We have been forgiven much.

A last thought: forgiveness does not mean that you pretend to be best friends with those who hurt you. Forgiveness does not always equal reconciliation. In order for reconciliation to occur, there needs to be repentance. Without repentance it is hard to reconcile hurts. The one who has offended or injured is responsible for apologizing and repenting. However, forgiveness is the choice of the person who is wronged. We cannot control people apologizing or repenting from hurting us, but we can forgive. I say, and more importantly, the Bible says we should do this liberally. 

Questions to ponder: Who in your life do you need to forgive? What do you need to do in light of this post to begin that process? Who in your life should you apologize to for things you have said or done? 


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4 Principles to Help Grow Your Ministry

Every church planter and pastor wants their church or ministry to grow. This is not a bad desire, it is a great desire. People in my tribe (Reformed) often turn their nose up at church growth, but this is silly, and downright wrong. Growing churches means that more people are hearing the gospel. Yes, there are cases where growth can be unhealthy, but having bad apples on the tree does not mean we should discount all apples. Churches and ministries are built to grow when they are functioning properly. Every pastor and planter should desire to see ministry growth. The gospel is a life-changing message. When that message begins to take root in a people and community the results can be phenomenal (see Acts).

So I want to share 4 principles from Matthew 9:35-38 that I believe can help church planters and pastors foster growth in their church or ministry. 

Matthew 9:35-38 (ESV) - 35 And Jesus went throughout all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom and healing every disease and every affliction. 36 When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. 37 Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; 38 therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.”

4 principles from Matthew 9:35-38:

1. Planters and pastors must have a broken heart and compassion for the city.

Notice in verse 36 that Matthew records Jesus overlooking the crowds, and he had compassion for them. Cities are not the buildings, roads, or signs that hang in a geographic region, they are the people. Cities are made of people. Jesus saw the people and had compassion on them. Why? They were sheep without a shepherd. In particular, they were sheep without Christ, the chief Shepherd (1 Peter 5:4). 

Do we truly have a burden for those people of our city who are helpless and harassed because they live their lives daily without the presence, peace, and power of the chief Shepherd - Jesus? We should. Like Nehemiah who heard of the condition of Jerusalem and its people, he wept bitterly. He was distraught. We should pray God would burden us for our cities and give us a passion for the people without Christ who live around us. Ministry is first and foremost about people, not tasks.

2. There are plenty of people to reach in your city. 

Jesus tells his disciples that the harvest is plentiful. There are tons of people to reach. The harvest is massive. However, when you look at how some pastors and church planters act, you would think there is only a handful of people to reach and other churches are their competitors for reaching them. Pastor, your church is not the only church in the community. Those other churches are not your competition. If every church in the community filled their buildings up with lost people in our cities, there would still be thousands and thousands of lost people in our cities. 

We need to leave behind the small-minded, territorial attitudes about other churches and ministries. We should celebrate when other churches are growing. They are not taking the only available lost people. The moment we realize that there will always be an abundance of lost people around us to reach, we can begin cheerleading other churches to be successful. I believe it would change the culture of our local churches if we were more vocal about our happiness for the success of other churches. You will always win when you are pro-church, instead of anti-church. Root for your neighboring churches and ministries.

3. The number of laborers you have will determine the size of your harvest. 

This point was emphasized by a pastor at the 2013 Willow Creek Global Leadership Summit. The pastor was from Kenya and he expressed that Matthew 9:37 shows us that the harvest is great, but we don't have sufficient laborers. This point raises out of the text implicitly because Jesus shows them that it is not a lack of harvest that is the problem. It is a lack of laborers. If we want to reap a large harvest of people, then we need a large army of laborers. 

This immediately raises the question about how we are doing raising up leaders. If you want your ministry to grow, then you cannot do everything on your own. You have to identify, train, equip, and empower leaders around you. If you want to reach a large harvest, then you need a system and process for surrounding yourself with competent laborers. If you want to remain small, then keep doing everything yourself. The size of your harvest will depend on how many leaders are working alongside of you.

4. Prayer is a vital part of our ministry labors.

Notice that Jesus' instruction for the disciples concerning the lack of laborers was to pray. Yes, go and recruit. Yes, train and equip. But all of this should begin, continue, and conclude with prayer. There is too much riding on our efforts to not be praying. Prayer is a vital component of ministry. If you can do your ministry without prayer, you are in trouble and your ministry is built on the wrong things. We must pray to the Lord of the Harvest to give us laborers for the fields. We need to pray God would grant us more leaders. I believe this includes the prayer that God would bring leaders to our church, but I also believe it includes God giving us eyes to see the leaders that He has already sent us.

We were not always church planters and pastors. We were not always concerned about the things of the kingdom of God. God changed us. God gave us eyes to see and passion to pursue the kingdom. We were likely invited by another leader at some point to join in this pursuit of expanding the kingdom of God. We did not just arrive in the role of pastor or church planter. This tells me that there may be all-star laborers just sitting in the seats of our church, waiting to be asked, waiting to be unleashed. I believe this requires prayer. We should pray God would stir the hearts of people to desire to labor for His kingdom, and we should pray that our eyes would be opened to identifying those people.

Conclusion

Notice that these four points touch on both hearts issues and philosophy of ministry approach. The first and fourth points are both heart issues. Your compassion for the city is a heart issue. Your willingness to make prayer a vital component of your ministry is a heart issue. The second and third points are philosophy of ministry issues. Understanding there are plenty of people to reach, believing you need to equip other leaders gets to the core of your philosophy of ministry. 

I challenge you to work through each of these points from Matthew's Gospel. As a church planter and pastor, you want your church or ministry to grow. I know I do. But we must have both the right heart and philosophy of ministry to see this happen. 

Question: which of the 4 points would you say is your strongest and which is your weakest?

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Are You Saved? A Vital Examination

Exams are important. An exam is defined as an exercise designed to measure progress or test qualifications.

Everyone has taken exams. From youth to adulthood we take exams. However, there is one exam in life that everyone should take. It is a pass/fail exam. What you make on the exam is of eternal consequence. This examination is to determine whether you are saved. By "saved," I mean whether you are forgiven of your sins and justified before God, thereby in a relationship with Him.

The basis for taking this exam is found in the Bible.

2 Corinthians 13:5 (ESV) - Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you? - unless indeed you fail to meet the test.

Paul writes to the church in Corinth to examine themselves. He wants them to examine themselves for the purpose of seeing whether they are in the faith. This is a crucial exam. The goal is to determine whether Jesus Christ is in you. If not, you fail to meet the test.

As a pastor, I hesitate to tell people they are saved. It is not because I'm skeptical of other people's salvation, I just don't want to be someone's assurance. I never want someone to be lost in their sins, yet think they are saved because at some point I told them so. Assurance of salvation comes when we pass the exam. It is imperative for everyone to examine themselves to see if they are in the faith. The role of the pastor is not to assure people of their salvation, but to exhort them to exam themselves.

So that is my argument for why we should examine ourselves. Let's look at how to examine ourselves.

1. Have I put my complete trust and faith in the finished work of Jesus?

The question demands that we look at where our hope for salvation lies. If we believe that God will forgive us of our sins through any other means than Jesus' death and resurrection, we fail to answer this question correctly. Salvation comes to those who wholly submit to what Jesus has done for us. We do not try to save ourselves via some behavior, action, work, or deed. We push all the chips forward and declare we are "all in" with Jesus. Has this taken place with you?

2. Do I submit my life to God and the authority of His Word?

This second question demands we look at what authority governs our lives, our thoughts, our beliefs, and our actions. True believers do not go on living their lives according to their own opinions. Real Christians come under the authority of the Word of God and align their lives accordingly. This means that what we determine to be true, moral, good, and so on is informed by the Bible. If you have not submitted to the Bible's authority, you fail the test. Is the Bible your authority?

3. Do I treasure and love Jesus?

This question gets to the heart of what salvation means. So many people wrongly believe salvation to be about believing all the right facts about the Christian claims. Instead, salvation is about a new love. We begin to love Jesus. True believers go beyond simply believing in Jesus, and begin to treasure him. Treasuring Jesus is about our yearnings to be with him. Treasuring Christ is about our affections for who is and all he has done. Many people believe in Jesus, but no everyone who believes in Jesus treasures him. What about you?

4. Are confession of sins and repentance regular aspects of my life?

The Christian life is one continuous pattern of confessing sin and repenting from it. Believers are called to be striving continuously for holiness. We do not want to continue in our former ways, but instead, we want to live holy lives. We want to be dedicated to God. This requires a constant turning away from worldliness and passions of the flesh. True believers do not live in habitual sin. They turn from it. This confession of sin takes place in private prayer, but also in a community of believers (James 5:16). Repentance is a turning away from sinful habits and turning to Christ. Do these things mark your life?

5. What Who do I live my life for?

This last question gets to the core of who we are living for each day. What characterizes your life? Does your faith in God mark your life? Does your allegiance to Christ and Kingdom show in how you live? There are many professing beleivers whose lives do not match their profession. Do not be decieved, friends. God will not be mocked. He does not desire for people who claim to know Him, but live for themselves. Those who are in Christ live their lives for Christ. We do not continue on living for our own dreams, wants, plans, and goals. We recognize that we were bought at an incredibly high price - Jesus' life - and we lay down our own lives for His glory. So what about you? Who do you live for - Christ or yourself?

Conclusion

After answering these questions, one final question is in order: am I being honest? You must answer the questions honestly in order to know if you pass the exam. If you are truly a believer, you should be able to answer "yes," to the first four questions and "Christ and his kingdom" should be how the last question is answered. Paul tells us in Romans 8 that the Spirit of God testifies to our spirit that we are indeed children of God. The Spirit of God will affirm in our hearts if we have answered these questions accurately. 

There is not a more important exam we will ever take. Passing or failing is of eternal significance. My challenge for you is this: if you pass the exam, then praise God for the gift of salvation that you have received. If you failed the exam, plead for God to save you, to forgive your sins, and to turn your life around. Turn to Christ and find life. Believe and you will be saved. 

Question: what additional questions would you add to this exam? I would love to hear your thoughts below.

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How I Spend Time With God

On occasion I am asked by others how I spend time with God. Usually the question is asked from someone looking to find ideas for their own walk with God. They are curious to know what works for me, perhaps finding something helpful for themselves. I do the exact thing around other leaders. It is good to learn from others.

Since I get asked about this regularly, I decided to write about it. I'm going to outline my approach for spending time with God, then I'm going to give a few additional ideas and resources that can also be helpful.

My Approach

I like having routines. I do not always follow them perfectly, but they serve as guardrails to keep my life on the road. The following is my typical pattern and routine for spending time with God. 

1. I wake up before my wife and kids.

If you want to spend quite, uninterrupted time, you should wake up and start your day before the hustle and bustle begins. I am not against spending time with God during the middle of the day or in the evening, but I found personally I am more alert, rested, at peace, and ready to spend time with God in the morning time. If I wait until later, I either never get to it or it is always rushed and/or interrupted. Phone calls, texts, emails, and other things will snuff out quite time with God if I do not schedule it first thing.

Some people do not feel like they can afford to miss 30 to 45 minutes of additional sleep. My philosophy: I can't afford not to miss that sleep. I need to start my day with God. My family needs me to start my day with God. Something that may help you is to approach your time with God as a standing appointment. You wouldn't skip an appointment with your boss because you were sleepy. So you shouldn't skip time with God either.

2. Coffee, prayer, & self-gospeling. 

Once I am awake, I get my coffee brewing and I collect my Bible, highlighter, and pen. Once I have everything in place, I begin with a time of prayer. This prayer time is usually quick. I thank God for the gift of a new day. I praise Him for His greatness and glory. I ask Him to give me grace to read the Word and hear from Him. I pray for God to incline my heart toward His Word, so that I do more than read words on a page. It is also during this time that I rehearse the gospel message to myself. I remind myself that approaching God is all of grace. I thank God for His holiness and might. I reflect on my sinfulness and need of a Savior. I exalt in Jesus, my Substitute and Redeemer. And I place my faith once again in the risen Christ for my right standing with God. 

3. Intentional Bible Reading.

After I finish praying, I open my Bible reading plan to where I left off previously, locate the passages I am scheduled to study, and begin reading. I read carefully and thoughtfully. I highlight passages that really resonate with me or leap out. I jot down notes with my pen in my Bible's margins. When I finish my scheduled reading, but desire to read more, I'll go to the psalms or a Gospel or a letter from Paul.

I love using a Bible reading plan. I have not always done it, but I find it gives me consistency. In the past, when not using a plan, I would jump around to random texts, with no real purpose or intentionality. Using a plan that goes through all the Bible in a year keeps me neglecting major portions of Scripture I may otherwise never read. But all Scripture is God-breathed and profitable for our learning (2 Timothy 3:16).

4. Closing Prayer.

After spending time in the Word, I close with prayer. This time of prayer is longer than the first, focused on repenting of sin, praying for strength, interceding for my family, and pleading for the Holy Spirit to help me apply the truths from the morning's study. While this is my closing prayer of my study time, I seek to pray throughout the day.

Additional Ideas and Resources

There are other practices that I incorporate into my time with God that are not always daily, but are regular. One of those practices is journaling. I will journal several times a week. I recount the events and conversations of the past few days that were meaningful or significant. I have done this for years, and find it enjoyable. Occasionally I'll go back and read prior entries to see how life has progressed. 

Another practice I enjoy is reading/singing/praying hymns. I love hymns. I do not always like their musical arrangement, but I cherish their lyrics. These songs are saturated with the gospel and feed the soul. I keep a hymnal on my desk. Similar to this is a handbook called Valley of Vision. It is a collection of short prayers on numerous topics. I often read one to close my morning study. 

Lastly, I like to sing. I'm not a great singer, but I enjoy doing it. I play music in the background as I pray and read. I also will pick a song or two to sing or sit in silent reflection. Music and singing flow from the heart's affections. It is difficult to enjoy music or sing if your affections are cold. I know it has been a good time with God when I'm bursting with gratitude while I sing. 

Resources: There are two books, in my opinion, that go unrivaled on the subject of spiritual disciplines and drawing closer to God. My first recommendation is Donald Whitney's Spiritual Disciples for the Christian Life. This is a great book on all the different spiritual disciplines that can be incorporated into your walk with God. The second book is Richard Foster's Celebration of Discipline. Like the previous book, it outlines the different means of grace God has given to foster growth in our relationship with Him.

A Promise and a Challenge

James 4:8 promises that if we draw near to God, He will draw near to us. That is an incredible promise. If we will step toward God, make the time for Him, He will step toward and make time for us. How incredible! Take Him up on that. 

Remember Mary and Martha from Luke 10. Martha was busy, busy, busy. Mary was sitting at the feet of Jesus. Martha wanted Jesus to make Mary get up. Jesus' response to her is that, "one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her." (Luke 10:42). Jesus said only one thing was necessary, and Mary was doing it. She was sitting at Jesus' feet. We should resolve to never begin a day without first sitting like Mary at the feet of Jesus. George Muller, the 19th century evangelist, believed it was man's first priority, each and every day, to get his soul happy in God. Let's heed that thought and spend time with God. 

Questions: what practices do you regularly incorporate into your walk with God? What new practices have you considered trying? Leave your thoughts and comments below.


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Sunday Evening Reflections

It is the end of a great Sunday. I truly love getting to pastor this church and spending my life with all these wonderful people. 

Highlights of the day:

**Josh and Philip did an amazing job, once again, in leading the church in worship. We miss Robbie and we are grateful for all his leadership over the years. But it is wonderful to watch these two guys, as well as the whole band, step up to the plate and lead the church in worship. I can really tell they are settling in and growing more comfortable. 

**We also had communion following worship today, which is usually where we do the offering. I thought this worked well, and I especially enjoyed giving the kids who have made professions of faith an opportunity to share in that moment with us. 

**I felt the sermon went okay. I never leave church feeling like I've hit a grandslam. I'm always wondering if it connected with everyone. I'm always left praying God will take it and make it powerfully applicable to the issues people are facing. 

**The one thing I do pray is left in everyone's mind is the boasting box. I appreciate Frank Bishop and Chris Boykin being my participants this morning. I pray the image will always remain in our minds. We have no room for self-boasting. God's grace is a gift, along with the faith to apprehend it, that should leave us with only one boast - the cross of Christ. 

**We commissioned my good friend and fellow laborer, Todd Bates. Todd became an official elder at TJC today. He has patiently endured the process for several years, sharpening his character and skills. It was both an honor and a joy to share that moment at the end of service.

**We had Gospel Community tonight at my house. We had a great conversation around the dinner table about our personal relationship with God. We also talked about how the church can be more intentional in ministering to the hurting on Sundays. It was such an encouraging time. Everyone needs to be in community!! 

Important Reminders

**Don't forget about the new series starting in two weeks, Counter-Culture. Be sure to invite people to join you at church for this series. I would love to see us use Facebook and Twitter to promote this series. If you see the series logo be sure to share it with others. 

**The Student Ministry begins full board this Wednesday. They will begin meeting at my house. I'm really excited for this. If you have students 6th - 12th grade, we want them to be there. Refer others as well. See: www.tjcstudents.blogspot.com for more info. 

**TJC Men are taking a retreat. Guys, you need to get signed up ASAP. It is going to be a great time together. The dates are September 6th-7th. Go to the Connection Point Table to sign up next Sunday. 

I love pastoring this church. I pray today was a great day for you. May God bless and guide each of you this week. 

Question: what was the highlight of the day for you at church?

No Perfect People Allowed

The church is not for perfect people. The church is a gathering of imperfect people who have put their hope in a perfect Savior, Jesus. We all know in our minds this is true, but we often live differently.

In recent weeks, I have had a number of conversations with members and attenders of The Journey Church, which I pastor, who had not been around lately. In talking with them, I learned that these people had been experiencing various trials and pains in their lives. Some were struggling with areas of sin in their lives. Whether it was the experience of trials or struggles with sin, all the people felt inclined not to come to gather with the church for worship. This concerns me.

The first thing I wanted to know was whether their non-attendance was because they felt uncared for or judged by the church. In all cases the answer was "no." When I probed deeper into why these people felt the need to shy away from gathering with the church, it was a sense of guilt, shame, or lack of desire to be with people that emerged. They simply did not want to face other people. They reiterated that this was not because the church had done anything, but their own sense of guilt.

So what is behind their not coming?

This really got me to thinking about the paradigm that exists in most people's minds about the church. Many people view the church as a place where people have it together. One reason is many of our churches have turned into impersonal gatherings where we attend a service, say a few words to the people around us, and leave. There is very little interaction, so we all put on our happy faces. In this kind of setting, we do not let our guards down. We all put on a smile, look good, keep composed, and give our hour and a half of time.

The problem with this is that it gives the perception to everyone around us that our lives are great. Things are perfect. When this permeates the culture, even when things are not perfect, people will feel the need to fake it. In an environment like this, we send a message that struggles and pain are an inconvenience. When this is happening, people who are struggling with trials or sin, would rather not be in an environment that feels inherently judgmental or critical.

A Second Reason

So we see that one reason people may shy away from coming to church is that they do not feel that people facing problems are welcome to come. The illusion of perfection as a requirement keeps them away. A second reason, which is similar to the first, is many people choose not to gather with the church during seasons of struggle, is they do not want to "fake it." They feel conviction; they feel shame for their sin. Many simply don't feel worthy to come to church.

The reason this problem exists is two-fold. The first reason is that people forget that the church is a place full of imperfect people. If we realized that everyone is jacked up, we would have much more confidence in gathering with the body. The church is the body of Christ, made up of sinners who have been saved by grace. Our whole message as the church is that we are imperfect people serving a perfect Savior. People forget that Christ has forgiven them of their sin. They forget that there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). There is no need to self-impose condemnation. If we realized this, we would gather freely with the body, even in the midst of struggles and sin.

The second part of this is that many church worship services are too chipper. What do I mean by this? I mean that many church services are too focused on being peppy and happy and chipper. While I am not against uplifting services, the reality is most people are not always feeling uplifted. If we read the psalms we see quickly that being downcast is normal for even the most God-loving people. Sorrow is a real part of the Christian life. Unfortunately, our services rarely reflect the lament and sorrow that accompany our lives. If our services were more intentional to reflect the different dispositions that many in the church feel, I believe we would have more people continue to gather with the body, even when they were downcast from trials or sin. 

The Bottom Line

The bottom line is this: church is not for perfect people. The church is a gathering of imperfect people, who have put their hope in a perfect Savior. If you are having struggles in life, you should gather with the body of Christ. If you are struggling with issues of sin, welcome, so are those gathered around you. Seek the Savior with other believers when the church gathers. Do not create an unreachable standard of perfection that is required before gathering for corporate worship. If you do, you are perpetuating the problem of making church a place for the supposed perfect people.


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Dating to Marry

The title of my post gives away the point I want to convey - Dating to Marry. This concept is foreign to most in our culture. In fact, marriage itself is postponed later and later by most people. Some will read this and think I sound archaic, unrealistic, or uncultured (or all the above). Others will read and think the idea is good, but go on doing what they have always done. They'll deem it unpractical. Regardless, I want to make my case.

The State of Dating Today

Unfortunately we live in a society which portrays behaviors from shows like Jersey Shore and The Bachelor/ette as normal. These shows, and many like them, encourage hookups and serial dating. We very rarely witness people approach dating with an eye on marriage. Most people date casually without the slightest bent toward evaluating if the person/people they are dating are marriage material. 

Most relationships today are built on sex. In fact, many relationships today started with a sexual encounter, a random hookup. Even when that is not how the relationship started, it often becomes why the relationship continues to exist. Is the sex good? Do we have it often enough? Are we sexually satisfied and compatible with each other? These are now the questions that get asked in the relationship. When they are not answered in the affirmative, the relationship is over.

So we date someone for a few weeks or months. We have sex with them. Things don't work out. The process starts over again. Throw in a few hookups that come on the heels of your latest breakup, and before you know it, you have experienced a few years with no relationships of any real substance and a long resume of sexual partners.

Sadly, this is the regular experience of many people. None of them feel satisfied or fulfilled in this vicious cycle, yet most keep repeating the cycle. 

A New Approach

I want to suggest a new approach - dating to marry. Dating to marry does not mean that on the first date you have to ask someone if they are ready to marry.  It is a commitment to date with an eye on evaluating whether the person is marriage material. What does this look like?

Some questions worth asking yourself: Can I have deep and meaningful friendship with this person? Are they responsible? Are they a person of character? Do they act mature? Would they be a faithful spouse? What kind of parent would they be? Are they generous and kind to others? Are we compatible with our faith and beliefs? Do we share a common vision about life and how we should approach it? 

These questions, along with many others, begin to help one evaluate someone through the eyes of a spouse. Why is this important? Because these questions are the ones that ultimately matter in real life. When you are casually dating or looking to score the hookup, you don't worry about these things. You are only in it for the fun, for the momentary pleasures. But you also get the unfulfilling results of the hookup relationship. 

Notice that I never asked a question about sex. The reason is because I do not believe that is the most important issue when considering a spouse. Life is about more than sex. Relationships are about more than sex. If you build a relationship on sex, and nothing else, that relationship with crumble. But this is how most teenagers and twenty-somethings are approaching dating. (Footnote: I think it is a waste of time for teenagers to date at all, but that is a different post for a different day) 

My Two Cents

Here is my advice to people, plain and simple. If you are not someone who is ready to marry, don't date. What is the point of dating if you are not in a place in life where you are ready to marry? You don't date so you can have a friend, there are plenty of people, of both sexes, that you can have a friendship with. Do you date for sex? According to God's Word, sex is most fulfilling and most satisfying, and most healthy, when it is experienced in the covenant relationship of marriage. Is that popular today? No. Is this looked at as outdated? Yep. But that does not change the reality of it. God's blessing is found in living God's way. 

So you don't need to date to have friends. And you don't need to have sex until you are married. In light of this, you should only date when you are willing to marry someone and you should date with an eye toward the person being marriage material. If you begin dating someone and you realize the person is not marriage material, you should gently and graciously end it.

This may seem crazy to people. But let me tell you what I think is crazy. As a pastor who sees and hears story after story of heartbreak, disappointment, and guilt from bad and ungodly relationships, I think it is crazy to keep approaching relationships in the same way, expecting to get a different result. That is crazy. So perhaps you should approach dating a different way. I suggest that it is God's way. And if you do it, I believe you will get God's results. That's my two cents.  


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Pastoral Traps: Tribal Arrogance

Last Thursday and Friday I had the privilege to attend the Willow Creek Association Global Leadership Summit. This is an annual conference for leaders that aims to train and equip them for their church, place of business, or other organizations. It is led and hosted by a church, that if I were being honest, is not really the tribe I follow. What I mean by "tribe" is that group of people who I am like-minded with in areas of theology, church methodology, and other categories of ministry. Willow Creek is not really in my tribe. 

Interestingly enough, when I first entered into ministry, I attended the Leadership Summit. I was inspired and blown away by all that I was learning. I had no undergraduate or graduate training in ministry. In many ways, the Leadership Summit was my seminary training for ministry. I enjoyed it thoroughly, and was grateful for the training.

Tribal Arrogance

However, that changed after several years. I started to find myself drawn toward a different tribe. My lack of theological training made me hungry and eager to learn more about the Bible, my faith, and theology. I began to find myself drawn toward the reformed tribe. I gobbled up book after book, website after website, from this tribe. I still classify myself as a part of the reformed tribe.

The deeper and more entrenched I became in the tribe, the less time and desire I had learn from other tribes. All the books I read were from my tribe. All the conferences I attended were from my tribe. It isn't bad to read books and go to conferences that you align with, but in my mind, I started belittling and dismissing other tribes. I developed tribal arrogance. This comes with consequences.

Learning from Others

One of the great blunders of having tribal arrogance is missing out on the wisdom and skills of others. When you only read within your tribe, you are missing out on things God can teach you from other people. If you only attend your tribe's conferences, then you lose the insight that can be gained from attending others. 

This stood out to me last Thursday and Friday. I sat in the auditorium listening to men and women pouring out genius wisdom and insight on leadership. I needed this badly. I began thanking God for bringing me to the conference. I was thankful for the guy who invited me to go, for no cost. What a gift God was giving me. Leadership insights were flowing in. So were the convictions about my tribal arrogance. I realized quickly on Thursday that for nearly seven years I had been missing out on the gifts of others because I was too entrenched in my tribe.

Finding Balance

I share this post, of my own personal experience, because I imagine I am not alone. I imagine this is a natural tendency for many of us. We tend to run with those most like us. We tend to listen to those most like us. This will never change, maybe it shouldn't, but we must always remain open to learn from others. We need to find balance. I have shut out other voices and influencers from my life for seven years, because I had belittled the need I had for the things they could offer. 

It is arrogant to believe our tribe is the only place for us to gain wisdom. I would encourage my friends, in the reformed tribe, to be more open to those in other tribes. Be humble enough to learn from those who are different. There are many helpful leadership insights and strategies we could profit from those people. To my non-reformed friends, take time to learn from the reformed brothers and sisters. Learn from their rich insights into Scripture, theology, and applying Christian thought to cultural issues. You may have certain opinions of the reformed tribe, but do not be like me and discount what you may be able to learn from them. 

I am repenting of this attitude and approach I have displayed. I do not want to display tribal arrogance. I am grateful for my tribe. I am grateful for how much I have grown in my love for God because of my tribe. But I need to have the ears to hear from the voice of others. This week has reminded me of this truth. So I am turning from this arrogance and foolish behavior, and making the commitment to sit more frequently at the feet of other leaders, from other tribes. I think you would benefit from this too. 

Has this post been helpful? Share it with others below. I'd love to hear from you. Have you ever been guilty of this trap? Share your insights and stories in the comments section below. 

Pastoral Traps -- Building Personal Kingdoms

There are many traps that lie waiting for pastors. Over the next few weeks I'm going to write about those traps. One of the reasons I feel compelled to write about them is because, as a pastor, I have noticed my struggle with them. In talking with other pastors, I have come to realize that these traps are not isolated to me, but something many others deal with as well.

The trap this post will highlight is Building Personal Kingdoms. 

In Matthew 4 the Spirit of God leads Jesus into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. Jesus fasted in the wilderness for forty days and forty nights. He is then approached by Satan at the end of the fast and endures a series a temptations. Jesus is weakened physically, but battling Satan with Scripture, he is able to withstand the attack. 

However, the third temptation Jesus experienced stood out to me specifically as a pastor. Jesus is taken to a high mountain and showed all the kingdoms of the world and their glory (4:8). Satan then tells Jesus, "All these I will give you, if you will fall down and worship me." (4:9). The temptation Jesus is presented with is not worshipping Satan, it is having all these kingdoms and the glory that is associated with them. Worshipping Satan is the vehicle to getting the actual offer being made. 

As I contemplated this, I realized that this temptation lies at the feet of every pastor. If we are not careful, we will subtly slip into building and working for our own kingdoms. If not guarded, we will stand on the mountain peak daydreaming of those kingdoms of greatness that we are pursuing, and the glory that come with them. 

This trap is hard to see because the actions you are doing may not look differently than the person focused on serving God alone. The actions look the same, but the motivation and goal become different. So pastoring can be for personal glory. Writing can be for personal glory. Preaching and teaching can become about personal glory. The kingdom built can become the kingdom of self, and the glory sought can become the glory of a famous name. 

Not every pastor is guilty of this; however, every pastor should be on guard for it. Building personal kingdoms is a trap that lies waiting for every pastor. 

Jesus' response to Satan shows us the nature of the offer that was made. Jesus says, "You shall worship the Lord your God and him only shall you serve." (4:10). This is vital to see. Jesus counters Satan's offer by telling him that God alone is to be worshipped, not Satan, and not the glory of personal kingdoms. It is the Lord our God that we shall serve, not ourselves. 

Here would be three recommendations I would make for pastors to do:

1. Continually evaluate and prayerfully examine the motives behind the actions you are doing. 

I think it is good for a pastor to regularly ask, "Why am I doing this?" When you ask that question, avoid giving yourself the cheesy church answer. Examine your heart. Search your motives. And move aggressively when you notice seeds of personal kingdom building present. 

2. Remember that there is more joy and satisfaction in serving God and His kingdom than all the glory of serving your own. 

If we want true joy and satisfaction, it will never be found in making much of ourselves. True happiness and is found in making much of God and living for His glory.

3. Invite some other local pastors or current pastoral friends into conversation about this trap, and share honestly with one another the personal struggles in this area. 

Other pastors struggle in this area. This trap is something any person can be vulnerable to. Grab some local guys together and be real with one another in this area. It will be both refreshing and helpful to all involved.

I hope this will be helpful. I would love to hear other recommendations you have for avoiding this pastoral trap. Contribute your thoughts in the comment section below.

Counter-Culture

We will be taking a break from our Ephesians series in September and have a 5 week topical series entitled: Counter-Culture. We have subtitled the series: living for Christ in a world that hates Him. It may sound like abrasive language, but we believe it represents the situation Christians face daily. The world is hostile toward Christians and to Christ. This should not be a shock to anyone.

Jesus sums up the reality of being hated by the world, and why that hatred exists:

"If the world hates you, know that it hated me before hate you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you." (John 15:18-19)

The purpose for the break is two-fold. First, we want to teach our church how to deal with the tension and strife they endure in our culture for being Christians. They are labeled everything from bigoted, intolerant, judgmental, homophobic, to numerous other things. Are these accurate descriptors of biblical Christians? We want to help our people work through those questions and issues.

The second purpose for the break, is we want to invite people from outside our church. We want this to be a short-term opportunity for people to investigate and hear from the Bible why Christians think, believe, and hold to the positions they do. This series is going to be a big invitation push to open the door for people to experience and be a part of our community.

Here is our plan for teaching through this series:

September 1st (Week 1) -- The Authority of the Believer: this message will deal with our starting place for our worldview and why this runs against the grain of our culture. However, everyone has an ultimate authority. We will explore the faulty foundations of any worldview not grounded in Scripture.

September 8th (Week 2) -- Judgmentalism: Christians are frequently accused of being judgmental toward others. This is largely because of our willingness to declare there are moral absolutes. There is right and wrong. The non-believers, even some professing Christians, will claim the Bible speaks against such actions. But is this true? What did Jesus say about this?

September 15th (Week 3) -- Homosexuality: Starting in week 3 we will begin hitting the main hot-button topics in our culture that Christians run against the current. In this lesson, we'll look at what the Bible teaches about homosexuality and how we should approach talking about this issue in the culture.

September 22nd (Week 4) -- Abortion: Is this more than a political issue? How should believers view abortion in a culture that argues for it as woman's choice and right to choose her own healthcare for her body? Should the healthcare of the child be neglected? Should the voice of the unborn child receive no support? We will dive deeper into this issue.

September 29th (Week 5) -- The Exclusivity of Jesus: If you want to see how against the grain our faith runs to the culture, just begin talking about Jesus being the ONLY way to salvation. This tenant, which is central to Christianity, is looked at with repulsion by a culture that believes in the equal validity of all faiths. Is Jesus the only way? What about those who never hear? Is Christianity exclusive? Is it wrong for it to be that way? We'll look at all of those questions and more to conclude the series.

We are excited about this series. I believe it is going to be helpful for our church in understanding how to speak about these issues to people around them.

I want to hear from you: What issues are we missing? Are there any topics that are pertinent enough to make the series that are not already mentioned?