I think I needed to start the post by just getting that out of the way. I'm a pastor who can lead and shepherd and care with the best of them, but I have felt a conviction from God lately that I'm not doing all I should/could be doing to take my home to the next level. Now don't get me wrong. We are not a pagan household. I do regular discipleship with my son. We will pray as a family and we have no problem talking about God. You see my problem is not with the family, it is with my wife. I don't feel that I'm doing enough to help us to grow as ONE spiritually. I don't want to sit down and teach her the Bible like I'm leading a class, because the last thing she wants is to feel like I'm making her go to school. I have had a hard time finding good marriage devotional. So I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to help create and foster that time for us.
There are also fears attached to this. I have never seen this modeled for me in my life, so much of it is going to be starting from scratch. I fear some of the levels of vulnerability that it is going to require. I fear not doing a good job. I simply want to be better, and I know it is going to require some changes of my habits.
I started by confessing and repenting before God, then I sat down and talked to my wife and apologized and told her my conviction. Thankfully she is desirous of a deeper intimacy together as well through our walk with God. Now comes the hard part: doing it. If you have suggestions as to what you do as a husband and wife, I'd love to hear it. If you have a devotional that have seemed to work well, leave a comment and let me know.
Do you find yourself struggling with this? Why do you think this is such a hard thing for us to do in our marriages?